Frustrated

Now that I’m unemployed, weekends don’t mean much to me. But… in order to stay synchronised with my husband’s schedule, I’ve decided to do the Python bootcamp on weekdays only.

I have been having a hard time today with the fact that I do not have a job. I searched the web for some quotes to make me happy. But instead of a happy one, I came across this quote from Aung San Suu Kyi:

Jobless people will have no self-confidence. And they feel they are worthless because when you don’t have a job you have to rely on someone.

That’s exactly how I feel at the moment 🙁!

A little backstory about being unemployed (since 2012). I got burnt out, depressed, sought help, tried freelancing. Didn’t work. Got very frustrated and depressed again. I sought help again, this time from a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at the age of 48. It all made sense, but… you’re born autistic, there’s no getting away from it. So I had the feeling (and sometimes still have, for example today) that there was no hope for a job. It’s not only my autism that makes it difficult for me to get a job, but also my age. I’m 50 years old this year.

Another thing is that I had the feeling that my brain cells were starving to death. That’s the reason why I decided to do this #100DaysOfCode Python boot camp. To keep busy, to keep my brain busy. To learn something instead of playing computer games and watching Netflix.

I have noticed that it helps. But it’s the weekend today. Today there is no bootcamp to keep me busy. For the first time in my life, I’m going to be happy when Monday rolls around 🙂 .


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